February 2008

Not in MY family, church, or community you say? 

There are many myths and misconceptions about domestic violence despite more public awareness over the last several years. Some of these are: it’s only low-income people; only people who are un/under-educated; only women and children are abused; they could get away from the relationship if they REALLY wanted to; it only happens in big cities; it’s never families who go to church regularly, etc., etc.

Unfortunately here in the Burlington area we know NONE of these stereo-types are true.  Recent events and headlines have made that clear.

Domestic violence is really about power and control which becomes physical in many instances. It isn’t limited to women though women are more often the abused; 60% of men who abuse their female partners also abuse their children.

How do we change these stereotypes, what can we do to help stop the abuse, where can we get help for those we suspect may be abused? Is it only physical abuse we need to pay attention to? What about verbal abuse, financial abuse, elder abuse (often neglect)? Is everything over when they leave the abusive relationship?

How can we as church members, friends, and or family members identify traits of an abusive personality in relationships? Can we help those in such relationships and if so, how? How can we teach our children, nieces and nephews and grandchildren what to look for in a healthy relationship and “red flags” to be alert for before they become involved in abusive relationships?

Burlington Association of Churches and Ministers (BAACM) with support from Love, Inc. and Women’s Resource Center of Racine, Inc. is offering a program on Sunday Jan. 27^th from 12-4 with presentations by the Burlington area Domestic Violence Prevention coordinator and a representative from Sojourner Truth House in Milwaukee, a Women’s shelter. They will educate us about Domestic Violence, as well as warning signs for teens in dating/friend relationships, how to talk with children and teens to identify what a healthy relationship is and help us explore what we as Church can do to promote healthy relationships and help those in unhealthy relationships.

The workshop will be hosted by St. John the Divine Episcopal Church located at 216 E. Chandler Blvd which is on the triangle of Chandler Blvd., Perkins and Edward St.  The gathering beings at noon with a light lunch provided.  Please call to register so that food may be planned:  763-7482 extension 21.  This 3-part workshop will go until about 4 p.m.

            Part I:               Domestic Violence 101:  the world of domestic violence and its impact

Part II:              Domestic Violence:  A ‘gift’ that keeps on giving.  This will look at the impact of

domestic violence on children and teens

            Part III:            What can congregations do

Childcare will be provided at the church if requested in advance.  This workshop is open to the whole community.  It does not have to be ‘just adults’ as many youth are also affected directly or indirectly by violence in homes and in our community.

Maureen Redmer, RN, Aurora Parish Nurse Program, St. John the Divine, Burlington